Terminate Excuses

  • By: Marek Kubiakowski
  • Sat 24 Apr, 2021

If you are a good listener, you will notice that some people will talk about doing things daily, whilst others make excuses because they are not performing.

By listening, you will discover that excusitis differentiates between the person who is achieving and the other underachieving. We need to attempt to terminate excusitis compared to a disease that even “ordinary” people have buckled under in their daily lives.

It is also noticeable when somebody is in this negative process, as they look for why they are not at a place they want to be.

Common excuses are:

  • I am too old
  • I lack education
  • I am too young
  • That is how I was brought up
  • I’ll do it tomorrow
  • Why are you pushing me in that direction?

Once a person gets accustomed to making excuses, they usually stick to the same ones, it makes them feel better, or they look for sympathy as to why they find themselves in this position. What happens next is that the excuses become embedded in their subconscious mind through repetition.

Through repetition, the good news is that the thoughts can be positive or negative; repeating good affirmations can also stay embedded in your subconscious.

Let us look at those common excuses in turn.

I am too old – well, unfortunately, life is tough, you cannot be young forever. It is a nice thought if we could. What we can focus on is being young at heart, full of enthusiasm always. As you become older, you grow wiser. You have seen more through age. We are learning every day, aren’t we? People will look to you for wisdom, and they will respect you more if you teach them how to live life for the better.

I lack education – not everyone needs a degree to move on in life. Many entrepreneurs had no path shown to them through education; for whatever reason, they just worked hard, took advice from the right people, and moved on to greatness. Did you know that Mr Hilton built his empire of Hilton hotels on borrowed money? Mr Hilton just learnt the basic principle that if you borrow money, you must pay off your debt religiously for you to borrow again. It is called credibility. Not many of us would build an empire as he did. Today, maybe we would be full of excuses as to how you could not pay off the debt. Never underestimate your intelligence and never overestimate the intelligence of others. It’s never about how many brains you have, and it is how you use your brain that matters.

I am too young – you may well be. You may feel that you do not command respect due to your age. Forget it, and there is nothing like feeling young. Older people will envy your youth. You are in a great position. My advice is for you to listen to your elders. They have seen it, done it and are always willing to part with their knowledge. There is one caveat, you must listen if you want to move along in life. When you become a good listener, things will move for you, but if you feel you know it all, then carry on, see how far you’ll get. I was like that in my younger days, too cocky and a poor listener. I would not recommend it. Invest your future time in doing what you really desire to do. It is only too late when you start to have negative thoughts. It would be best if you ceased thinking, “I should have started years ago”. That is negative, instead think, “I’m going to begin right now. My best years are ahead of me”. Doesn’t that make you feel better already?

That is how I was brought up – not all of us were brought up in a loving family atmosphere. For some, it was tough. As we grow up, we are faced with challenges that we attempt to resolve. If we did not have the good examples that we saw in our parents, then it is easier to blame how we were brought up, and that is how it is. No, it is not how it is. You may have been fortunate or unfortunate, and it does not mean you have to follow the old ways. You may need to adjust, to embrace that the way you were brought up may not have been the correct way.

I’ll do it tomorrow – this is the most common of all excuses. This one is the easiest to come out of the bag. People say it so much it comes boring. Sometimes you have to listen to yourself, and when you realise that you have got excusitis disease, I am sure you will turn around and do something about it. A young lady was to do her first speech to a crowd of people. “Tell me, how is it going”. “I have started writing the speech but have not finished, let alone practice the speech. What do you recommend”? “When it was my turn to do my first speech, I found a bundle of reasons why I should postpone it. It suddenly dawned on me that I could carry on postponing the speech every time.  I thought that I couldn’t let that happen. That scared me”, I explained. Sometimes we are never ready, but I encouraged her by saying that she would be so elated once it had been done and that feeling would be priceless. Try your utmost not to fall for excuses, and it’s on the road to nowhere.

Why are you pushing me in this direction – this sounds like a parent talking to children with this sort of response if the child does not wish to follow the advice. Parents only want to best for their children, and they will give the child the advice after listening to what the child is thinking about. It should be part of a discussion, on whatever the topic is, to get all points of view across. Naturally, if the child is younger, there may be no discussion as they are too young. Any child over the age of 7 should be able to reason themselves on certain subjects, and the parents should have the time to listen to that child instead of simply telling what they should be hearing. When we are adults, we also have people pushing us in certain directions, good or bad. You as an individual will make up your own mind, good or bad. This is life. Sometimes we take the advice, and other times we ignore it. “You make your bed, you lay in it” is a good saying. Beware it may not be the correct answer.

Until the next time, terminate those excuses.

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