Stepping Stones to Building Confidence

  • By: Marek Kubiakowski
  • Wed 01 Feb, 2023

Psychologists tell us that we can change our attitudes by changing the way we act. Our actions speak louder than words. When you smile broadly, it will make you want to smile more. You feel more superior if you stand tall rather than slouching. If you are a shy person, you can replace this timidity with confidence by taking three simple steps simultaneously: Grip the other person’s hand warmly and sincerely. Second, look the other person in the eye, and third, say, “I am pleased to meet you.” These first three simple actions will make you feel more confident. It follows that if you think sure, you will act confidently. It would help if you thought in the context of performing the way you want to feel.

Consider the following tips:

  • Practice speaking up for yourself. Remember, you are unique, and you have something to say on most subjects through your uniqueness. Your attitude should be,” I have something to say. People need to hear my story, my point of view.” People do want to know what you have to say on a subject. Try not to think that you will look foolish or that nobody is interested in what you have to say. These thoughts bring your mental attitude down before you even utter a word. The more you speak up, the more you add to your confidence, and the easier it is to speak up the next time. When you speak up in a group of people or at a meeting, you will have certain people who will agree with you and others who will not. That is how it goes sometimes but do not worry about feeling foolish, ask the question.
  • Have a big smile. Have you ever tried to feel down in the dumps and smile at the same time? You cannot. A big smile makes you feel confident straight away, and it removes any worry. If you approach someone with a smile, I can guarantee that the other person will smile back or give you a half-smile, even if they feel suspicious of why you are smiling at them. They cannot be angry with you if you give them a genuine big smile.
  • Walk quicker. A person who walks quicker automatically gives you the impression that they are “on a mission”. They are in a hurry or business-like. Even this action boosts your self-confidence because you are “on a mission”. Practice walking faster and see if you get noticed by others. I watch some people at seminars charge up to the front of the auditorium and wanting to be “in action”, whilst others slither into the seminar without any energy. Already their actions tell me something about them.
  • Have a big handshake. The way you shake peoples hand sends many messages to the other person. If you have a limp handshake, this indicates poor self-confidence and lack of energy. Make sure your handshake is firm and with verve as this shows a confident person, someone who is also “on a mission”, someone you want to get to know a bit more.
  • Look the other person in the eye when greeting. Take their hand, look them in the eye and smile. If you do not, this gives the other person the thoughts of your not being sincere or hiding something. Another guarantee that you have made a friend instantly.

You may be thinking, “Yes, I have done all the above. What else is there that I should be doing?”

Believe in yourself. It is one of the most challenging exercises to accomplish. Unfortunately, some of us do not believe in ourselves, be it from having a poor childhood upbringing or not associating ourselves with confident people daily. It would help if you started with being honest with yourself. You must believe that you are a good person and that people want to be surrounded by you because of your self-confidence. If these people do not think the same about you as you do, find others that will accept you for who you are.

Positive attitude. Did you know that if you show an excellent positive attitude to others, they, in turn, will want to be positive towards you? If it is sincere, then you have everything going for you. It is your attitude that governs your altitude that counts. Optimism is infectious; notify your face that you are a happy go lucky type of person. Having a doom and gloom attitude turns people away.

Goals. Set yourself some goals. They will motivate you in the direction you have chosen to pursue. The plans will keep you focused, but without them, you will drift from day to day. Reaching your goals will give you self-confidence and belief in yourself. We are all encouraged to take a few risks in life. Why not risk a plan that you have always wanted to achieve. It will bring a smile to your face and give you the drive to conquer another goal.

Value whatever you are doing with your life. Whatever you do, strive to be the best you. With this personality, you will turn heads and surprise people. We should give our best effort to whatever we touch. I do not know anybody who steps up to any task half-heartedly because most of the time, you set your values and will want to aspire to your values. Your value may be honesty and integrity. These are great values, a shining example of how we should act daily. Once that integrity or honesty comes into question, your self-esteem and confidence will make a dent, and it may dampen your spirits. How you act is how people write about you. Keep up your image. It is crucial.

Action. Action feeds and strengthens confidence. The more you act, the more your faith begins to grow. Let us say that you need to give a presentation at work. You have prepared yourself and are ready to go. The longer time passes before you give your presentation, the more likely that fear will begin to creep in whilst waiting. We are human, this is why it happens to us, and fear is a human trait that we all try to conquer most of the time. Action cures the fear.

I encourage you to take these easy steps to build up your confidence. These steppingstones will assist you in your journey to be appreciated by others and know where you are going in life. You will be an indirect inspiration to them, as actions speak louder than words.

Until the next time, keep building your confidence.


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